Breastfeeding is definitely a topic that my mom would warn against posting about. She likes to remind me that my relatives read this blog. And, she does not feel - as many Generation X, Y, and Zers feel - that it is okay to publish every little thing you do on the web. But, I feel as though something that I devoted myself to for that past 14 months deserves at least one post. Right?
Have you ever seen the movie, Lovely & Amazing? If you haven't, you should. It's just as the title describes. In it, Catherine Keener plays a character who feels like a failure in nearly every aspect of her life. She goes to a launch party for her sister, who is an actress, and when people engage her in small talk, all she can do is go on and on about how she delivered her child naturally. She keeps saying that it was her biggest accomplishment.
Sometimes, when I think back on this past year, I feel like Catherine Keener's character. When I'm low or feeling inadequate (which, if you've been reading this blog, has pretty much been the entire first year of Baby Beeton's life), I think to myself, "But I'm breastfeeding." Silly, I know. I'm sure if I said that to some agent at a launch party they'd walk away from me, too.
This road for me has been really hard, and the breastfeeding road, specifically, wasn't exactly easy. With the complications from the surgery, I had to stop breastfeeding for about two weeks or so. And, then, like a lot of women, I had some trouble early on. The Breastfeeding Center of D.C. was on speed dial. There was an uncomfortable trip to Chicago, some fights with that blasted pump, and the discovery of Lecithin. Finally, I gave up on pumping entirely and let my body do what it needed to do. When that happened, it got easy.
And, then, about a week ago, Baby Beeton decided he was done. I had been slowly phasing out feedings so that we were down to first thing in the morning and before bed. Then, we tried skipping the morning feeding, and Baby Beeton didn't seem to notice. Instead, he seemed to really enjoy sipping his whole milk while taking Ella for her morning walk. We had planned to stop the night feeding when Mr. Beeton finished with science camp, but smack-dab in the middle of that week, Baby Beeton was more interested in flipping through pop-up books than nursing. I took it as a sign. And here we are. Weaned at fourteen months.
I realize that breastfeeding is a completely normal, natural thing for a woman to do, but I also think in this day and age woman can face a lot of opposition in making this choice. Abbreviated maternity leave. Little or no insurance coverage for lactation services. The normalization of bottle feeding. Articles like the Time Magazine one don't help. But, I think one of the biggest obstacles is the lack of a supportive environment. Luckily, that wasn't the case for me. I can honestly say that I owe my breastfeeding success to my dear friend C who lent me lots of books and who reminded me when things got tough that it would one day get easier (I didn't believe her, but she was so right!) and the moms in my weekly-meeting mom group (I could go on and on about these women, and I will in a future post!). Breastfeeding in that environment was easy because so many of them elected to do so. As a result, we were able to help each other out during the whole process from sharing what pumps worked best to what places sold the trendiest nursing tops. Having the support of these women made me feel more secure in my decision.*
I remember reading Sherry's post on Young House Love when she finished nursing her daughter and thinking, "Holy smokes! How did she make it that long? And without pumping? Ever?" I re-read the post the other day, and I realized that Baby Beeton was about the same age as her daughter when he moved on - 14 months! Made me feel a little proud of both me and my baby.
In celebration, Mr. Beeton is taking me out for drinks (ah, drinks!) and dinner at Marvin. His idea, not mine. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to mark the occasion. Because, after all, it's a milestone, worth of being recorded - even if it's on the web.
Keep sweeping, Martha
Watched Friends With Kids.
* I should note that all the moms in my group were equally supportive of the bottle feeding moms (as I am, too!). That's something I love about these ladies. They embrace the feminist notion of choice.
1 comment:
A sweet honorary post to mark this moment in time. Weaning and stopping is always a bittersweet milestone--at the end of one relationship, body to body, and the start of another.
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