One morning, I woke up, and my hair was curly instead of straight.
Okay. So maybe the transformation wasn't that dramatic, but it feels like it's been. Save for two exceptions, I've always styled my hair in some version of the classic bob, but since Baby Beeton's birth, my hair has been slowly falling out. And, the hair that's coming in isn't straight; it's curly, which means my sleek bob can no longer be contained. I've had to find a whole other way to wear my hair.
In the grand scheme of all things that a new baby brings, this change in my hair isn't really that significant. But, to me, it serves as a tangible manifestation of just how different I've felt since Baby Beeton's arrival. It's hard to explain this feeling to people, how, most days, I don't recognize myself. Most people don't understand. Having a baby changes things, they tell me. And, I understand that. But having a baby shouldn't change you this much. It shouldn't make you unrecognizable to yourself. In the moments where I begin to doubt my sanity, to wonder if what I'm feeling is actually true, I look in the mirror. My hair, for me, confirms these changes.
Thankfully, there are more and more moments lately where I feel a glimmer of my old self sneak to the surface. I had one the other night, standing in the middle of Dupont Circle after a wonderful dinner at the Cosmos Club (D.C.'s country club for intellectuals). Mr. Beeton's parents had come into town to babysit Baby Beeton (thank you, Grammy and Papa!), and Mr. Beeton and I had our third night out alone since Baby Beeton was born. There was good food, interesting discussions. And walking back in the dark through Dupont Circle to our car, I began to feel like everything might one day be right again. In that moment, I knew that my old self was coming back, however slowly.
When I look in the mirror, I try to remind myself that once before - in college - my hair totally went haywire. And, at that time, I did the same thing I'm doing now. I let it grow; I got some layers; I didn't try to fight it; and I rode it out. It may be only in my imagination, but I feel like when my old hair made a reappearance it was even better than ever. I've got my fingers crossed.
Keep sweeping, Martha
4.24.2012
4.10.2012
my oh my
I love mornings.
I know. Who would have ever thought I would write those words? Mornings have never been my cup of tea. I cried each and every morning I had to get up to go to high school. I gagged my way through breakfast when I worked as a teacher's aide in a junior high school for two years after college. That's why I've always taught college classes that began after 10 a.m. (except for one miserable summer in graduate school when I was assigned "Business Writing" at 8 a.m. ... I must have made someone very mad).
But, lately, mornings are my favorite part of the day. Baby Beeton will wake up and nurse. We'll head downstairs to take Ella for a walk. We'll come back and have breakfast. Since Baby Beeton is mostly interested in finger foods, I'll try to give him some oatmeal and fruit, but he'll end up just gobbling down cheerios dipped in yogurt, toast with fruit spread, and chunks of soft fruit like bananas and pears. Feeding him is so much fun. He loves to eat and gets to excited to try out any little thing he can pinch! Then, when he's done, we'll head downstairs to the basement playroom (which, while carpeted and painted - finally - has no furniture in it as of yet... it's actually a good thing because head-hitting hazards have been eliminated) for a while. And, then before you know it, it's nap time. Baby Beeton is usually so tired from eating and playing that he'll go down very easy. These mornings have a sweet predictability, which I've come to love.
And, when a morning like this is followed by a two hour nap, that makes it all the sweeter. If it hadn't been 10 am when this respite started, I would have made myself a cocktail - a Pimm's cup to be precise. This drink is going to be my new drink of summer because it's just so tasty (and makes me feel like a Grantham). You just take Pimm's, mix it with lemonade (I like the sparkling kind), and add a few slices of cucumber. When our tax return comes rolling in, you can find me sitting on something like this on my screened-in-porch with lanterns like these reminding me that summer is the best time of the year. I'll be drinking a Pimm's cup and toasting to breakfast.
Keep sweeping, Martha
Watched Young Adult.
I know. Who would have ever thought I would write those words? Mornings have never been my cup of tea. I cried each and every morning I had to get up to go to high school. I gagged my way through breakfast when I worked as a teacher's aide in a junior high school for two years after college. That's why I've always taught college classes that began after 10 a.m. (except for one miserable summer in graduate school when I was assigned "Business Writing" at 8 a.m. ... I must have made someone very mad).
But, lately, mornings are my favorite part of the day. Baby Beeton will wake up and nurse. We'll head downstairs to take Ella for a walk. We'll come back and have breakfast. Since Baby Beeton is mostly interested in finger foods, I'll try to give him some oatmeal and fruit, but he'll end up just gobbling down cheerios dipped in yogurt, toast with fruit spread, and chunks of soft fruit like bananas and pears. Feeding him is so much fun. He loves to eat and gets to excited to try out any little thing he can pinch! Then, when he's done, we'll head downstairs to the basement playroom (which, while carpeted and painted - finally - has no furniture in it as of yet... it's actually a good thing because head-hitting hazards have been eliminated) for a while. And, then before you know it, it's nap time. Baby Beeton is usually so tired from eating and playing that he'll go down very easy. These mornings have a sweet predictability, which I've come to love.
And, when a morning like this is followed by a two hour nap, that makes it all the sweeter. If it hadn't been 10 am when this respite started, I would have made myself a cocktail - a Pimm's cup to be precise. This drink is going to be my new drink of summer because it's just so tasty (and makes me feel like a Grantham). You just take Pimm's, mix it with lemonade (I like the sparkling kind), and add a few slices of cucumber. When our tax return comes rolling in, you can find me sitting on something like this on my screened-in-porch with lanterns like these reminding me that summer is the best time of the year. I'll be drinking a Pimm's cup and toasting to breakfast.
Keep sweeping, Martha
Watched Young Adult.
4.02.2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
