setting the summer sun on fire

If you don't know who Andy Cohen is, you should. I've been a fan of his as long as I can remember - or at least since Bravo began airing Real Housewives reunions. Mr. Beeton and I would laugh and laugh and laugh when Andy asked a ridiculously rude question that was supposedly sent in by a viewer but which was probably just something he wanted to know. He's cool like that.

We've also been seriously addicted to Andy's late night show - Watch What Happens Live. It looks like it might be filmed in his mom and dad's basement; he and his guests play outrageous games; and it contains a crazy combination of guests (Anderson Cooper and Camille Grammer, Rachel Maddow and Jenni Pulos, NeNe Leakes and Michelle Obama... okay, I made that last one up). The show is so wacky that it was spoofed on Saturday Night Live. (Just for the record, they are a little too mean to Andy for my taste in this one.)



Well, I found out the other day that Andy is having a contest. You see, another quirky aspect of Andy's show is that he has a bar on set, and in each episode, there is a different bartender. The grand prize for his contest, Raise the Bar, is to BE ANDY'S BARTENDER FOR A NIGHT! So, of course, I entered. You had to submit a written piece that was 200 words or less explaining why you are WWHL's biggest fan and why you deserve to be behind Andy's bar.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Deserve to Be Behind the Bar in Andy’s Clubhouse

10 – Because as an English teacher, I swoon every time you say, “Hello caller. What’s your name, and from where are you calling?”

9 – Because I make a mean Pimm’s cup.

8 – Because you took my D.C. housewives away. You owe me.

7 – Because I go to the Jersey Shore every summer, and I never wear sunscreen.

6 – Because I can’t wait to see your parents' basement. (That’s where you film, right?)

5 – Because my husband and I played drinking games to WWHL before you did.

4 – Because if I were a real housewife, my tagline would be – In this capital city, there’s only one president. Mazel! (Said in Heather’s voice.)

3 – Because last year, at age thirty-seven, I had my first baby, and I didn’t hire Rosie Pope.

2 – Because if you think Jiggy’s cute, wait until you meet my Westie, Ruby.

1 – Because if you didn’t pick me, you’d be MY jackhole of the week.

If you are a true Andy fan, you'll understand what I've written above. And, if you're not, then you won't, so you'd better tune in every week night on Bravo and get up to speed!

Keep sweeping, Martha