sun on the carpet

The world has been moving way too fast lately, and I feel as though I haven't been able to catch up. The fall was hard. The spring was harder. And now, we're headed into summer, which I hope will just be nothing but lovely.

In these moments, I tell myself to breath. And, I hold tight to the little things.

Boy Beeton and I stumbled upon this Little Free Library on the way to a birthday party. These gems are scattered throughout our neighborhood, but this one was particularly sweet.

Mr. Beeton was reading poems by Charles Bukowski. I'd never read Bukowski, but I definitely had a clearly formed image of him from my graduate school days. I opened the book to this poem, which took me by surprise. Completely at odds with the poet I thought I knew and so expressive of my own feelings about parenthood. 

Marina
majestic, magic
infinite
my little girl is
sun
on the carpet-
out the door
picking a flower, ha!
an old man,
battle-wrecked,
emerges from his
chair
and she looks at me
but only sees
love,
ha!, and I become
quick with the world
and love right back
just like I was meant
to do.

Keep sweeping,

Martha

Read My Name Is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout. Watched Carol. Watching Catastrophe. 

we're having...

...snow much fun!

Keep shoveling,
Martha

Watched Sofia Coppola's Somewhere. Finished reading Lauren Groff's Fates and Furies. 

my view at dusk

Today was a good day.

I haven't been able to say that for a while now. When my pericarditis hit this fall (update soon, I promise), I didn't realize how much it was affecting me physically or emotionally until the cardiologist finally said I needed to take it seriously. I had thought - as I did after Boy Beeton was born - that I was just an inadequate mother. I had thought - because I was so tired all the time - that I was just selfish. I had thought - because I had no patience for anything or anyone - that I was just a bad person. But, it was just the illness, which on top of being physically painful, was also making me tired and depressed.

I know this because today was a good day. I woke up with energy. I played with Boy Beeton this morning. I put away the porch furniture. We went to school. I took a walk. I graded. After school, we picked up some groceries. When we got home, we played soccer in the yard until it got dark. I made dinner. We had a dance party. I calmly dealt with a before bed tantrum. I was myself again.

Keep sweeping,
Martha

Watched The Peanuts Movie.

boo

2015 shots of Halloween... and an oldie but goodie. "The sun will come out..."

Keep sweeping,
Martha

Read Mary Higgins Clark The Melody Lingers On.

bleck

This is how I feel about life lately...

But, I read this great article about the 15th anniversary of one of my favorite films. That made things a bit better.

Keep sweeping,
Martha

Watched Kissing Jessica Stein, I Love You, Man, Love Jones, and Maid in Manhattan.

lump in my throat

Obsessed with this song right now.



This is worth a watch, too.



Keep sweeping,
Martha

Read Judy Blume's In Case of Emergency.

the write stuff

I've been writing most of the afternoon for the first time at my new little space in our office. We cleared out Boy Beeton's nursery a while ago, but this summer we finally got the space in order. The walls are grey; the desk and bookcase are red. The accents are yellow and turquoise. I made an inspiration wall above my desk complete with some paintings from my Nana and Poppop's house, a sweet little drawing by Boy Beeton, my I Love Takoma woodcut, and a framed cover of Good Housekeeping from back in the day (a 40th birthday present from C & A). The black and white photo adds to the romance of the writer's room.

Summer updates and photos to come very soon.

Keep sweeping, Martha

Read Afterbirth by Elisa Albert.